You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
