if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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