seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
