so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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