question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
