are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
