a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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