I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
