You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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