there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
