I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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