What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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