I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I need to calm my uterus...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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