Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
