I wanna bring you to show and tell
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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