I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
