honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
