Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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