Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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