So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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