I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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