Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
