I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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