Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
