His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize