angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
