Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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