so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
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corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
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We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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