What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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