Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
