Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
