quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
