WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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