My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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