you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize