just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
