this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
