I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
