Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
