would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
