Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
