He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
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the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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