We won't sleep together?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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