Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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