Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Randomize
