Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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