For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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