this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
there is glitter all over my balls
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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