I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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