That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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