obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
