I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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