I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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