I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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