On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
