she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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