I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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